"Ye know, doan't ye, what it feels like when ye burn yer hand . . wi' a match when ye're lightin' one of they godless cigarettes? Aye. It stings wi' a fearful pain, doan't it? And ye run away to clap a bit o' butter on it . . . Ah but there'll be no butter in hell!"

-- Amos Starkadder, in the novel Cold Comfort Farm (Stella Gibbons, author)